TopicDo You Know What Controls You and Kills
With children in mind, I personally recommend meeting new people at a neutral, public location rather than your home, at least until you feel like the relationship may have some long-term potential, so that men are not going in and out of your children's lives. You don't want them to get the impression that relationships are inherently temporary, nor do you want them to grow too attached to someone who may or may not remain in their lives.
Remember that you have already been through hell. If you don't want to walk that road again, avoid the kind of man who will be more than happy to take you there. Even if you know what kind of relationship you want, you may be attracted to something else, something familiar - and unsafe. This is not a call to paranoia, but rather to caution, a reminder to be willing to see legitimate issues, as we - as recovering abuse victims - have been trained to rationalize away those waving red and yellow flags.
Remember to be patient. This is not a race, and you are not looking for any man's attention, you are waiting for the right man's attention. Whether you choose to wait for an acquaintance to ask you out to lunch or you decide to join a dating website, try not to panic, push or rush things, and listen, listen, listen to your instincts. Don't feel any obligation to "make it work." If that is your attitude, you are likely headed down a very familiar and unhealthy path.