TopicAre You His Friend Or His Lover?
Yet, these unhealthy strategies are built upon an illusion. The illusion being that your behavior affects how the other person feels. These types of strategies can easily turn into life-long patterns of behavior with many different relationships but the lack of completely fulfilling Stroke of Genius the need for love remains elusive and out of reach and they can lead to wounds and pain. Imagine a young child never experiencing his or her need for love, acceptance, value except when he or she is sexually molested by the parent. It's a harsh reality. It doesn't have to be.
This same child may grow into an adult or teenager who uses sex to have his or her needs met for feeling loved. This same child may grow into an adult or teenager telling herself or himself a story that she or he is only worthy when having sex with someone. Yet the pain and wound of a lifetime of conditional love will take its toll and create many more strategies and stories around needs not being met.The first step to leaving unhealthy strategies and stories is to acknowledge them and accept them without judgment or admonishment or blame. They simply are and they wouldn't be if you lived a different reality. Think of it like this, if you do judge yourself or admonish yourself or blame others or yourself does it change what is? What is the natural consequence of judging or admonishing yourself? What is the natural consequence of blaming yourself or others? What is the natural consequence of simply accepting things as they are without judgment, admonishment and blaming?
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